Walking around with a broken heart is harder than a broken leg. I'm limping in my head. I've been going crazy all day today. I can't stop thinking about him. Half of the songs on my mp3 are too difficult to listen to. I just think of this past year and it elicits so many intense thoughts and emotions. That's my problem-- I'm all wound up all day because I don't let myself experience (let alone acknowledge) any sentiment or emotion. So when a song plays it's a cataclysm. And no I'm not the girl listening to love ballads crying in my bedroom. I'm not necessarily talking about crying. Just feeling. And they're these strong, passionate stinging sensations in my intestines. Now don't forget that passion can be inspired by both love and hatred. It's getting so fervent that I can taste it making its way to my mind to vex my thoughts just a little more--which I didn't think was possible. The only thing that quiets my newly-found emotions is heavy metal music bursting my eardrums.
Thoughts of him solace me until I realize it's only my imagination. I can't take any more f*cking pain right now, honestly. Whatever I'm doing--whether I'm looking at the sky or spending time with my cousins--I'm always thinking of how much better it would be if he were with me. I'm not willing to make charter with just having him in my thoughts. My fantasies aren't enough. As matter of fact they're taunting me.
I could've had it all if I just let him have me. Why do I fight? Why do I always put up a damn fight? I'm so broken... crawling, sliding around in my dreams. Finding him and begging him back to me.
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