Sunshine

Waking up this morning with artificial gratitude.  I'm sober 30 days today.  I should be so appreciative that I'm even alive and have this chance.  I'm miserable, though.  What is to become of my felicity now? As I drown in my thoughts and I tread I feel just as defeated as I did in the midst of my addiction.   I'm poking over the waves, barely getting any air.  I don't want to go under, but the release is tempting my exhaustion.  Life tests us all.  Heading to an AA meeting and then to church.  Let's see if I can rise above.